My new Clay Spann photo!!!...and a perspective on the Dr. Phil Show

Well my official Clay Spann photo is here and posted on the Mrs. International Website! I am so happy with the result. I wish I could do my makeup this well - Clay is a genius. Thanks Clay for making me feel beautiful!
Did anyone catch the Dr. Phil show last Thursday? I am embarrassed for the pageant industry and outraged at the portrayal of married pageant women. I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself in that I started in pageants at 17 as an outlet to perform and earn scholarships. I won my first pageant, then went to Miss NC, then after I gave up my local title, went to college, then...living life kicked in and the next thing I knew, I had aged out of the Miss America system and was married and expecting my son, Cameron. I entered Mrs. Pageants to continue my love of performing, speaking, and working to be the best person I could possibly be. Three of my four best friends are pageant women...2 of which I met because of pageants. THAT in itself is worth more than anything and I cannot begin to put a price tag on it! My life is richer because of my friends and my involvement with pageantry...what about you?

Clay Spann Photos

All I can say is that I had such a GREAT time with Clay and Joey! Oh, if only I could do my hair and makeup this well! Stay tuned for the official photos soon.

Miss America and the REALITY of it all!

I went to Miss America last week with my dear friend, Diana. It was the most fun! We were able to go to the Tradeshow, the Breakfast, and to Contestant Visitation. We went to the Thursday Preliminary competition and Saturday Finals. I was very impressed with the girls and the organization's passion to keep the Miss America Pageant alive and popular. I was NOT impressed with how they handled the elimination of the girls or how they lined up Top 10 for Talent Competition on Saturday. I guess I am used to the glamour and grace of Miss America. However, I appreciate the need to identify with the TV audience and they LOVE Reality!
Speaking of which - this last week was very busy for me, as I was also filming a TV Pilot for the A & E Channel. Right now the show is called the Untitled Carrot Top Reality Show, but I think they will be changing that to something with a bit more zing to it. Now, for those of you who know me and know TV, this is not really a Reality Show. Most Reality Shows are based very loosely on the truth and are scripted - the same for this show. It is a lot like HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is based on a real person and his life, but exaggerated a lot! My character is a Cougar Mom of a 28 year old son that is best friends with Carrot Top (can you believe it - 28!!!). My real son is 15, which is hard enough to believe. Anyway, I had my TV son, "Cookie" when I was a child myself. I'm a single mom, just going through a break up and Carrot Top and I are long time friends that help each other through our respective breakups, with a little joking along the way! If it gets picked up (which is rumored to be happening!), I will be a recurring character, but don't always believe what you see on TV, it is just a character and nothing like me at all.

2008 has been great!

Just a quick entry today to announce some exciting news:

I am so excited about this month so far! I just booked a local commercial for Mercedes, and a Pilot for A and E. The pilot is untitled as of right now, but as I know more, I will share.
I also just signed with a new commercial/host agent in town, and we finalize everything on the 28th! I will officially announce it then!
Miss America is next week and I can't wait! Then the following week, I fly to Alabama to get my Clay Spann photos!
On top of all the exciting days ahead, I also have so many things happening with Lung Cancer Awareness - I am especially excited to be a part of the upcoming Advocate Summit in May. We are working to finalize the agenda and the official name, but this will be so educational and empowering. More information to follow soon....

Living with Lung Cancer

I remember when my mom was first diagnosed with Lung Cancer; I remember the call from my aunt "to come home now". I was planning a trip home to be a bride's maid in my best friend's wedding and I needed to get home a few days earlier, as my mom had fallen, from what seemed to be a stroke. I remember walking in after a 12 hour drive to see my mom somewhat dazed and partially paralyzed. I was in shock, but I had to be the strong one, always the strong one. After countless hours at the doctors office, we were sent to an oncologist at the hospital (why I wondered, as everyone was secretive), only to have her go through tests, a biopsy, CT Scans and back to a room where I was given the news. THE news. My mom had stage IV inoperable cancer. Nothing could be done, only radiation treatments...it had spread to her brain. That is why we thought it was a stroke. When I think back on that day, I remember not being able to share that news with anyone...my mom WAS my anyone. My husband was driving up for the wedding (we didn't own cell phones then), my best friend was getting married (didn't want to depress her) and I couldn't dare tell my sweet daddy. I carried the burden by myself for some time, as my mom didn't understand all that was going on and she, well, wasn't herself.
The reason I bring up all of this sad stuff, is I ran across a blog posted on National Lung Cancer Partnership that blogs the day in the life of a cancer survivor. I found myself crying, knowing what she is going through. Yet, she is so hopeful and truthful. She has beaten the odds and has survived 6 years so far. I would have given anything to have my mom more than the 7 weeks she survived, but every person is different - with the same outcome though.
THIS is why I fight for awareness and funding for Lung Cancer! Hope. Survival. Beating the odds and living life! I only wish I had more power to make it happen faster. NOBODY deserves Lung Cancer! It is the most horrible of cancers, just read the statistics. Hope...the future...we do have that!
Please read the blog: http://www.nationallungcancerpartnership.org/blog/

Optimism!

Abraham Lincoln said, "An optimist is one who sees opportunity in every difficulty. A pessimist is one who sees difficulty in every opportunity." He was right.

Optimism is an attitude, an outlook and a perception all in one. There is an organization directed toward optimistic people, as well as toward pursuing change in a pessimistic society. The members have an international creed that is worth repeating: "Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something in them worthwhile. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true."

You see, adversity or difficulty can make you tender or tough, bitter or better - it all depends on you.

Think only the best, work only for the best, do only your best and expect only the best!

The New Year

I received this email from a dear friend today, so I thought I would share:

I am the New Year

Life, I am the new year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice
what you have learned about life
during the last twelve months.

All that you sought
and didn't find is hidden in me,
waiting for you to search it out
with more determination.

All the good that you tried for
and didn't achieve, is mine to grant
when you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do,
all that you hoped but did not will,
all the faith that you claimed but did not have-
these slumber lightly,
waiting to be awakened
by the touch of a strong purpose.
I am your opportunity to renew your
allegiance to the Spirit who said,

"behold, I make all things new"

New Year's Resolutions and saying goodbye to 2007

When I think back over the year 2007, I can honestly say it was a year of humility. I went through a lot this year, but each challenge was an opportunity to better myself and learn lessons I needed to learn. For the first time in a long time, I think I actually progressed and benefited from the "mistake" or missed opportunity. I became more in tune with myself, with what I truly want in life and what goals I need to focus on! I became more focused, more streamlined, more in tune with the Lord and what He wants me to do. I can't really explain it all, but I had to turn a lot over to Him. I know that in the past, I have been a bit self-serving, thinking of MY goals in MY timeframe, not His timeframe. I know now that I can't push; I have to work hard, but have more faith that things will happen. As an actress and as a pageant competitor, there is a lot of the same stress - the fear of failure.
The end of 2007 has been like taking the "lemons" of the year and making "lemonade". I have a new and terrific Manager for my acting career, I am so blessed to have the title of Mrs. Indiana International (and I know that was the title I was meant to have!), I have the love and support of friends, sponsors, and family, and I have a great job that allows me the freedom to work here and not have to travel too much! Gone is the worry that I had in 2007, and it is replaced with faith, hope, anticipation, goals, and a true desire to make a difference - not for a crown or acknowledgment, but for a bigger cause than me.
Happy New Year! God Bless!

Merry Christmas from the Ward Family

Merry Christmas from Janice, Tony and Cameron. I played Flute in Church last night for the Candlelight Service at 11pm. My son, Cameron was an Acolyte for the service as well. It is so nice to be with our church family on Christmas Eve. This time of year is tough, as I really miss my mom and dad; but I am so thankful for having had them in my life and I am so thankful for Tony and Cameron and all of my wonderful friends! I am blessed. I see my mom and dad in my son's face, so I know that they are always with me and will live on through our memories and love.
On a lighter note, I am SO excited that there is movie about Alvin and the Chipmunks! When I was a little girl, it wasn't officially Christmas until I played my Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas record! I grew up in a home of wonderful music of old - Standards, Big Band, Classical Music, etc....so my exposure was to music of the past, the true greats! But Alvin was a chance for me to be a real kid and listen to silly music...I just loved it! But I was bit odd, as I also loved Cher and Vicki Lawrence (boy I am old!). I drive my husband and son crazy with my taste in music, as I still love the Standards, Jazz, Blues, Classical and the Oldies - what can I say, the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree, and my dad was a "Rat Pack" smooth crooner type from the 40's and 50's and he passed that love on to me! My mom was more of the classical influence, as she sang and played the piano. It was a nice eclectic mix that I cherish. I thank my husband for introducing alternative music to me - I may not enjoy it as much, but I love all music as it is the universal language that brings us all together.
Have a Merry Holiday Season. God Bless!

Catching up!

Sorry it has been SO long since my last entry! I have been busy with everyday life. My son, Cameron was sick, then I was sick. Now we are Holiday busy! I love this time of year, but I miss the years when Cameron was young and Christmas was such a joyous wonder and I could see Xmas through his eyes. This time of year is tough for me. I miss my mom and dad. Somehow, Christmas is different when you grow up and REALLY different when your parents are gone. I lost them so suddenly and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wonder how young children deal with the loss of a parent. I was an adult with a young child and I had a tough time. I can only imagine the difficulties facing a young adult or child after losing a parent. I just found out about a local organization, Walk with Sally that helps children cope with the loss or with the sickness of a parent with cancer. I know how tough it is and how much you need others at a time like that. I hope that I can help the organization as a volunteer/mentor for a child. I know it helps me too. You never completely heal. I look forward to just listening, taking a kid to shop or fish or bowl or just watch a movie.
Anyway, NEW subject! I just signed with a Talent Manager, and she has been so great. The life of an actor is a weird one - just imagine constant interviewing as your job! And being a different person each time. It's fun and frustrating at the same time, that's what auditioning is like. You spend most of your time studying and auditioning. When you do book a job, it feels just like winning a pageant and having that crown placed on your head! Truly! I have had some great opportunities as of late, so fingers crossed. My goal is to have more of those moments. 2008 is MY YEAR!!!